There are roughly 80,000 reports of child sexual abuse each year according to the May 2008 article "Child Sexual Abuse" published on the Journal of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. However that number is likely to be higher as many cases go unreported. Recognizing the signs of child sexual abuse is the first step on a child’s road to recovery.
The Signs of Child Sexual Abuse
The signs of child sexual abuse include, but are not limited to:
- Problems sleeping or nightmares
- Significant interest in things of a sexual nature or extreme avoidance of them
- Depression
- Acting in a sexualized manner (seductiveness)
- Talking about their body being dirty or fear there is something wrong with their genitals
- Themes of sexual molestation appear in play, drawings or games
- Unusual aggressiveness, or even
- Suicidal behavior
Child Sexual Abuse is Under Reported
The media has pumped up the idea of Sexual Predators stalking the internet or trolling America’s back alleys looking for victims. However, the National Center for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder indicates that 60% of child sexual abuse victims know their abusers.
When a trusted adult sexually abuses a child the resulting feelings can be incredibly confusing. The child can’t resolve the feelings of loyalty or affection for the adult with the feeling of violation that comes from the abuse. This often causes the child to delay reporting the abuse or avoid reporting entirely.
Abusers routinely make their victims fearful of reporting the abuse. Abusers may simply tell their victims they won’t be believed because they are just children or abusers may actually threaten violence.
Helping a Sexual Abuse Victim
Discovering a child is a sexual abuse victim inspires a range of emotions in parents including guilt, anger, frustration and helplessness.
The most challenging responsibility a parent has in this situation is to channel these perfectly natural feelings away from their child. For the reasons already discussed, children are fearful of sharing the details of abuse and every effort must be made to make the victim feel comfortable and safe:
The most important steps a parent can take are:
- Remain calm.
- Explain to the child that what has happen is not his fault.
- Arrange a medical examination as soon as possible.
- Arrange for the child to see a therapist who specializes in working with child sexual abuse victims (pediatricians can often provide referrals to these professionals)
The potential long-term damage of sexual abuse can not be overestimated and parents should seek professional help as soon as the abuse is discovered.
Communication is the Best Defense Against Sexual Abuse
A parent's first line of defense against sexual abuse is open communication with her child. Explaining the mechanics and emotional baggage that go along with sexual intercourse may not be an appropriate topic for a 4- to 6-year-old. However, parents can talk to children at any age about what the prevention education organization Childhelp calls "good touches," "bad touches," and "sexual abuse touches."
Childhelp points out that children are not afraid of the phrase "sexual abuse." In fact, using the phrase Sexual Abuse helps to eliminate confusion. Childhelp defines a "sexual abuse touch" as "forced or tricked touching of the genitals."
When "sexual abuse touches" are explained to a child compared to "good touches," like loving hugs from a family member, or "bad touches," like hitting or kicking, the child gains a very clear understanding.
Parents can take the opportunity to reinforce how important it is to talk about "sexual abuse touches" when they occur so that parents can put an end to them. Parents can also stress that they will not be upset with a child for talking about "sexual abuse touches" because "sexual abuse touches" are never the child’s fault.
Thom Simonson - Thom Simonson is a Licensed Social Worker in New York State with 14 years experience in the mental health field. His wide ranging ...
